sweetdevil | 54th ♫ | i'll love you forever on one two and three

[ Shit, she found that way faster than Chitoge thought she would. She only just made it back to her own school when her phone starts buzzing, and she nervously peeks at her notifications to see...

Ah. Chitoge doesn't know whether it's a good thing or a bad thing, that Erina hasn't put together just who sent it. But she's certainly not about to fess up to it now, that she's committed to the bit.

She slips her phone under her desk, so she doesn't get caught texting in the middle of class. Bites her lip, and... ]

maybe it's someone trying to pick a fight?

[ Ugh, why did she send that-- ]

LMFAOOOOO god can you imagine. is this how we're doing things now??? gonna be in my next class and some mfer is gonna get down on one knee like "will you..... fight me???"

[ Though, come to think, just straightforwardly asking for an asskicking would probably be the best way to get Erina to fight you. ]

nyway i don't THINK so? there's cookies and shit inside and this cute envelope so it's like. it doesn't FEEL like a fight? it feels like a valentiney thing but like. who tf is gonna send valentines to my goblin ass

knowing you and your fucking school?? i'd actually be kinda disappointed if that's not how you people do things

[ Seriously, even the campus is a madhouse. ]

but is there something bad about it?
you got good dessert out of it
and its not weird to get a valentine on valentines day

[ Though she does hit that send button with a bit more force than she'd like, as she slumps her chin a bit into her palm. Why does she keep talking like that..? She pulled a line like that over the holiday, too... ]

[ There's an unusually long pause before Erina's response comes through, though the reason is made immediately apparent by the attached image – a hastily snapped photo of one of the cookies with a bite taken out of it and her other hand giving an enthused 'OK' sigh. Don't think too hard about how she took that while both hands were occupied. ]

hell no it aint bad are you kidding? these things are fucking delicious. u really think i'm gonna say no to free food literally ever??
it's just wildin
i know that i happen to be a solid 10 looks wise and am more or less flawless in every other category but i have it on good authority that my annoying ass personality makes me less of a catch
but apparently my annoying ass personality works for SOME girl so the moral of the story is never stop chasing ur dreams i guess

shit, don't forget you're a paragon of modesty, too
we should all be so goddamn lucky

[ Though the photo makes the back of her neck feel a little itchy. Sure, it isn't as though she baked the cookies herself; if Chitoge pulled a stunt like that, not only would it be a dead giveaway that it's her, but they'd likely send poor Erina straight to the ER. But seeing that half-eaten cookie feels like a job well done, and if Erina's none the wiser that she's the one who sent it, then it's a resounding success.

...That's what she's tells herself, anyway. ]

wouldn't be so quick to call it a dream
you don't even know what this girl looks like or nothin
for all you know this mystery chick could have a fucking nightmare personality
if i was a betting gal i'd put good money on it too

oh yeah absolutely i figured that went without saying
like maybe not nightmare-sleep-with-a-knife-in-your-bed tier but she's definitely gonna be at least on my level in terms of being obnoxious as hell. which is exactly what you want from a girl at the end of the day.

[ Which... really explains a lot about Erina's tastes, come to think of it. ]

ANYWAY.
when do u finish school again. remind me. i'm out of class for the rest of the day and if i eat all these cookies i will definitely throw up. do u want some.

[ It hits her half a second after sending that message that sharing her Valentine's gift might seem a LITTLE callous but. Hey, it's fine. Chitoge gets cookies out of it. Everybody wins. ]

IS that exactly what you want from a girl??

[ Erina has a type? That certainly comes as news to Chitoge, assuming she isn't getting her leg pulled for the umpteenth time. Of course she doesn't, she reminds herself, this is Erina we're talking about, here. She'd probably drop a flirty line on any girl with a pulse.

Yet she's the dumbass who keeps falling for the bait. What the heck is she gonna do with herself?

She sneaks a peek up at the teacher in front of the smartboard, just to make sure there aren't any eyes on her. If the conversation keeps up at this rate, it's pretty likely that she'll get caught with red cheeks... ]

normally i'd call you out for being a ballsy bitch but
considering you're looking at an absolute fuckton of cookies there i think it's pretty obvious that you're not supposed to eat em by yourself
if your nightmare girl's got a problem with me hogging you up they can take it up to my face

[ She'd probably be singing a different tune if it was anyone but her who dropped that off, but it's not like Chitoge's going to be breaking anyone's heart by munching on the cookies she delivered herself... ]

still got about an hour over here but then i'm free unless i happen to get flagged down by some poor bastard
(not gonna happen)
we'll bum it at my place and put a dent in it
if they're good you should enjoy them instead of making urself sick

an HOUR?? im gonna waste away out here, kirisaki. claim you have a deadly illness and skip class to come hang out with me sooner, i need attention.

[ She's... kidding? She's kidding.

... I'm pretty sure she's kidding. ]

u want a drink with these? like starbucks or whatever. or are we just cramming them down dry until we choke and die like real women

[ Maybe she'd be a little more tempted to cut class, if she didn't just skip a nice chunk of them to drop off a valentine half a tube ride away. Of course, Erina doesn't know that, but...

Come on, can't you figure it out? She finds herself muttering under her breath, and tries not to think too hard about how much she's contradicting herself. ]

oh my god i'm giving you attention!!!
way more attention than i'm giving this class that's for sure

[ Needy little-- ]

yknow what fuck it why dont you just meet me here if you're that bored?
you do know where i go to school right?
go grab two trenta mocha chocolata whatevers and hang out over by the front
by the time you get here i'll already be out to rescue you

[ Chitoge Kirisaki paid Erina Estival: ¤20.00
you + caffeine = a bad idea ]

and don't eat all the goods before i get there

holyshit between this and the cookies i'm being so well fed today. happy fucking valentines to mmmmmmmeeeeeeee
ok anyway i'm gonna bail and go get our drinks then hang around your school like a weirdo til you get out
peace

[ And true to her word, off Erina goes. Zwei knows the city well enough that she manages to map out a pretty speedy route that gets their fancy drinks and Erina over to Chitoge's school quick enough, and Erina manages to avoid getting distracted too much, so she arrives more or less right on time.

And of course, Erina can't do anything like a normal person, so she's hitched herself up onto the outside wall and sat herself there while she munches some of the cookies and guards their drinks, waiting for Chitoge to be released from purgatory. And yes, she's still got the sword because... well, it's Erina. ]

peace yourself
no one's gonna think you're a weirdo waiting outside for someone the day before valentine's

[ Or so she says. But Erina Estival, for better or for worse, always has a way of surprising her. When the last bell rings out for the day, it isn't long before Chitoge waltzes out the front door of her school building, bundled up for the late winter weather with her bag slung over her shoulder. And while she had expected to find Erina waiting near the front door, or maybe the gate, like a normal person...

Well, why would Erina ever act like a normal person? Thankfully, it means it's not hard to find her, once Chitoge actually starts to look.

It's not the massive sword that gives her away. It's the fact that she's out here in the courtyard, squatting the way only a lesbian can. Has this girl ever sat properly in her life? ]

...Alright, let me correct myself. No one's gonna think you're a weirdo just for waiting for me.

[ Before she even offers to help Erina up, she snatches her coffee right up; with all of the running around she did today, coffee doesn't seem bad at all. ]

[ Placidly: ] Don't underestimate my finely cultivated weirdo aura, Kirisaki. I can make anything weird, any time, any place.

[ She finally stands up like a normal human being and stretches hugely, making about twice as much of a production of it as she needs to. She's absolutely not dressed for the chilly weather, but whether that's because she's a Synchronic or because she's a dumbass is impossible to tell.

She pops the lid off the tin and offers it to Chitoge without another word, though. She's smooth like that. ]

How was boring-ass regular school, anyway?

[ Shit, Erina, who said you're allowed to be cool? Her heart actually skips a beat, for two reasons: the first being that Erina pulled off a pretty slick maneuver there, and "weirdo aura" or not, she's reminded that this is where she's chosen to lay her affections; the second being that she's forced to stare at her own handwriting on the inside of the lid, resting on the backside of the (ripped open) love note she wrote.

Embarrassing, embarrassing, embarrassing. She shakes out the cobwebs and plucks a wrapped cookie out of the tray; one of the softer ones covered in rainbow bits. ]

Ah, well, you know. Same old, same old. [ Despite the fact that she's holding coffee, she's got a pretty good handle on her fingers as she opens the wrapper up and rips the cookie in half. Take the other side before she changes her mind. ] Just like any other day, no love confessions or nothin'.

More importantly, just how are you not freezing your ass off right now, dressed like that?

[ Not that she's staring. ]

Edited 2021-02-27 15:07 (UTC)

Oh, I am. Freezing my ass off, I mean. [ She just sort of lets that hang in the air while she nonchalantly pops her half of the cookie into her mouth and then washes it down with a swig of her coffee. ] I figured if I was gonna just get over here on the train there wasn't any point in going back to the dorms and getting changed and then I was like "oh shit, these are arctic conditions actually" and here we are.

[ She tries to sound as cool and nonchalant as possible as she says all this, like she isn't doing a little side-to-side shuffle on the spot in a futile attempt to keep herself warm. It's what she deserves, really. ]

If I die, let my Valentine know. Just post it online somewhere and I'm sure the period of national mourning will tip her off eventually.

Dipshit, it's the middle of February, you gotta wear something more substantial than that. [ She tries her best to sound a little intimidating, but it's probably a bit hard to do that when the sides of your mouth are covered in rainbow crumbs. ] If I get sick because you were waiting out here for me without a coat on, I'm slugging you, and your damn Valentine, for good measure.

[ She says, as she puts her coffee down to unzip her jacket and roll her shoulders back, letting it fall down her arms. Chitoge's wearing long sleeves underneath, at least, so she won't be too cold if she drapes her jacket over Erina's shoulders. But just so she doesn't have to see what Erina's face looks like when she does it, she turns just a bit of her ire to-- ]

And Zwei, you gotta tell her this crap, too! C'mon, I know you know how cold it is out here, give a girl some warning...

[ ...She's talking to a sword, now. ]

[ The expression that takes over Erina's face is an unfamiliar one – bemused and bashful and a little softer than she usually allows herself to look. It turns into a cheeky little grin when Chitoge drapes her coat over Erina's shoulders and she reaches up to tug it further down, just so she's not quite as exposed to the elements as she was before. It's cute, seeing Chitoge turn so fussy. ... not that she'd ever admit it out loud, of course. ]

Oh yeah, she was telling me the whole way. I just–

[ Erina cuts herself off, her eyes going a little unfocused the way they do occasionally – Chitoge might not be able to hear Zwei, but it's obvious she's chimed in with something that makes Erina flush red and twist her head around so she can... yell at her sword. Again... this is where you've decided to lay your affections, Chitoge. ]

Hey, jackass, who asked you? [ Yes, she's cussing at her sword. Move on, Chitoge's staring classmates. ] You're just jealous I got some cute Valentine's cookies!

[ It's probably a pretty good thing that Chitoge isn't able to gossip with Zwei; not because Chitoge doesn't want to hear what she says, but because she really, really wants to, and it feels almost like forbidden knowledge. Whatever that sword can say that makes Erina's cheeks run pink like that, Chitoge wants to know, so she can do it, too!

Yet her own cheeks color, too, when she remembers that Erina's got a set of pipes on her, and not everyone who goes to Chitoge's school is up to speed like she is. ]

Alright, weirdo aura at work, I get it, let's move it along..!

[ The sword alone is enough to turn heads, but it's definitely not an everyday occurrence to see someone yell at one. She quickly swipes her coffee back up, locks arms with Erina and tugs...not particularly because she's embarrassed to be seen with her, but because if someone hears Erina cursing at thin air, they're probably gonna think she's challenging them to a rumble.

No one needs that. Especially not Chitoge, now lucky enough to have a kinda-sorta Valentine's get-together with the girl she likes. ]

Besides, for all you know, maybe the cookies were for Zwei. [ Nevermind that the envelope was clearly for Erina, putting aside the obvious fact that Zwei can't eat-- ] We can figure out who sent 'em on the way, while we're gorging ourselves...

[ Erina grumbles spectacularly but allows herself to be led away by the arm instead of making a scene... or escalating the scene she's already made, I guess. Chitoge is saved from further embarrassment for another day - but Erina has to put up with Zwei tittering to herself in the back of her mind and she does her level best to shove the feel out of as far out of her skull as she can get. ]

Oh, could be. You know, I think you've hit it on the head. [ She gives Chitoge what can only be described as a shit eating grin. You set up this bit, she's going to run with it until someone physically intervenes. ] Girls with swords are hot as hell so what's hotter than a girl who literally is an actual sword? You've cracked it. She's a hot piece of–

[ A pause, as Erina, for once in her fucking life, thinks her words over. ]

Can I even call her a hot piece of ass if she doesn't actually have an ass?

[ Estivaaaal.

That gag is bad, and that smile is worse. Yes, Chitoge all but walked into an avenue to enable her nonsense, as she's all but become accustomed to at this point, but whenever Erina drops bombshells on her like that, earnest bombshells, poor Chitoge can't help but feel like she's knocked flat on her ass. On any other day, she would probably go off on her, maybe even punctuate it with a biff to the back of the head. "Of course you can't, dumbass--"

But that isn't what she says. ]

It's no goddamn fair, if you ask me. [ She tries to keep her voice nice and level, as though she's being completely sincere. But as she takes a sip of coffee to compose herself, her ears are turning a little red, as she continues what's now clearly part of a bit. ] Who the hell decided that axes get to have butts, but swords shouldn't? If you ask me, we oughta file a complaint somewhere.

[ She wants to crawl into a hole and never come out. ]

[ Oh no. Oh God. Chitoge can't go and make that face like she's totally not scandalized or embarrassed when Erina's literally right there to see her ears going all pink. If she was a good friend, she might back off a bit but thankfully her name is Erina Estival and she's a terrible friend, so she has absolutely no compulsion to do so. ]

Right? So glad you see it like I do. It's sword discrimination. Blade oppression.

[ She takes a long, slow sip of her coffee just to let those sink in and then in a perfectly casual tone of voice: ]

Sabersecution.

[ She yanks Erina's arm in to cover her mouth with her free hand, only half aware that their elbows are still interlocked. She has to make a concerted effort not to make coffee come out of her nose-- ]

Were you sitting on that stupid pun and waiting to use it on me for weeks, or did you just come up with it in the spur of the moment?! Either way, you bet your ass I fucking hate it!

[ And it gets worse. ]

You had a perfectly good chance to use cutlassment, and you wasted it! For Gods' sakes, even has "ass" in the name! It would have been perfect!

[ Erina fucking loses it, because of course she does. That was exactly the response she was aiming for. Thankfully though, she chokes on her coffee a little and spills some of it because she's laughing so hard, so the scales of karma are somewhat balanced. ]

You really think I have the patience to sit on dumb shit like that for weeks when I know it makes you this mad!

[ A horrible, wretched girl. She's still laughing. ]

Cutlassment. God. You have literally no right to get angry at me for my shitty sword jokes again for the rest of our lives.

L-look, you go to sword school, so I'm sorry that my shitty sword jokes aren't up to snuff! I'll fucking workshop it or something!

[ When did the sound of that obnoxious, bombastic laughter stop making her furious, and start making her chest feel weird? Her cheeks have colored, embarrassed now for two completely different reasons, but more importantly... ]

You're making a damn mess! Oh my God, just hold still...

[ For Christ's sake, this goblin girl is laughing so hard that there's coffee dribbling down her cheek. She stops them in her tracks and unlinks her arm, just so she can use the thumb-side of her lightly clenched free hand to wipe the mess of coffee dribbling down Erina's mouth.

The side of her hand lingers by her chin for just an instant too long, before she whips it right back and tries to hide her expression behind another sip of her own coffee. ]

...But I guess you've got a point. No damn patience at all...

[ She has the good(?) grace(????) to stop chortling when Chitoge starts dabbing at her face, but this just has the effect of making her face scrunch up in a way that makes her glee at dunking on her entirely too obvious. She has way too much fun picking on Chitoge. In another life where they went to school together or something, she was definitely pulling her pigtails during recess. ]

Nope. It's like the human concept of 'shame'. I just never developed it.

[ Which sounds uncomfortably believable for Erina, considering her... Erinaness. She gives Chitoge a friendly nudge with her elbow, as if to make up for it, though. ]

I guess it's working for someone though. I literally haven't gotten a Valentine from someone since like, third grade.

[ Ass. At least Chitoge doesn't seem too bothered, after all of the fussing; the little elbow jab is enough to get a chuckle out of her right back, though she can't help but feel like she misses the feeling of slinking her arm back in there. She can't exactly rationalize an excuse to do that, though, now that she's not tugging her along by the arm anymore... ]

Me neither, actually, now that you mention it. Maybe longer than that...It stopped being, y'know, in vogue to give Valentines to everyone in the class? It was kinda like how you got the "sportsmanship" award for just showin' up, 'cause they didn't want you to feel bad for not getting any trophies...

[ Forget the playground; the idea of these two playing any kind of youth sport together as kids can't end in anything other than catastrophe. Even with all of the athletic ability between the two of them, they'd be too busy bickering to earn any points-- ]

Different people just value different shit sometimes, you know? Like, if you're someone who's got a lotta patience, you can afford to have a thing for someone with a little less. And if you're someone who doesn't like taking shit from anyone, you don't mind sticking with someone who's shameless.

[ Gee, it sure does sound like she's speaking from experience, here? ]

Edited 2021-03-20 14:58 (UTC)

54th ♫ | i'll love you forever on one two and three

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