sweetdevil | 52nd ♫ | the first star in the sky is even brighter out tonight

Honestly, looking at this thing? I get the feeling they were less than two steps away from paying people to take it away. It's a sin.

[ Which makes it objectively the best sweater here, obviously. ]

The cookies, though? Believe me, if I had my way, those things would be gonezo. But I was issued with a thread to, and I quote, "pull off your hands and stick them so far up your butt your nose will be waving hello". It was a pretty good threat, honestly.

[ Damn, even Chitoge's wincing at that one. ]

It's not a bad one, but you wouldn't catch me dead making a threat like that on Christmas. [ It's the middle of December. ] I'm not risking getting coal in my stocking. You want me to smuggle you some? I can be pretty stealthy, y'know.

[ In this hideous thing? ]

You know what? I'm gonna say yes purely because I want to see how you Metal Gear Santa your way over there without getting caught, wearing that sweater. Of course, if you get your ass whooped, I had no involvement in this.

[ Erina is a good friend (citation needed). ]

[ Her ribbon perks right up at that, like a rabbit on alert-- ]

Now you listen here, if some fat fuck can sneak into everyone's houses and deck out the space under the tree and steal people's cookies all without getting caught, I think I can manage one of the three just fine, thank you very much.

[ What was that about not wanting any coal..? ]

And if you think anyone here's gonna whoop my ass, you must know something I don't. Someone tries to jump me, I'll get 'em with the 3-hit combo. "Ho-ho-ho"!

[ Something about the look of her shadowboxing in her getup is pretty wild, but unfortunately, here we are. ]

[ Erina definitely does not choke back a laugh at this, because she's a good friend. She just goes right ahead and laughs out loud instead. And because she's, you know, a good friend and all then obviously she should encourage this. Chitoge's all fired up! It would absolutely not be in the Christmas spirit if she poopoo'd all over that. ]

Oh yeah, on God? Tell you what, let's up the stakes. If you can get over there and pilfer all the cookies without getting caught and you can sneak me a cocoa too, I will not only admit I was wrong, but you'll have one free Erina I.O.U to hold over my ass for the foreseeable future.

[ if this sounds like a trick to make Chitoge go get her some snacks then you'd be right. ]

[ Whether it's because Chitoge is easily enabled or extremely gullible, the idea of a challenge just gets her going even more. There's not really much on the line here other than her pride, of course. But she's never been one to back down from a wager, even if the terms are silly. And more tempting than the idea of the I.O.U. is... ]

Admit you're wrong? You?

[ Is this an impostor, maybe? Was Erina visited by three ghosts in the night? ]

You better make sure my ass doesn't fall into the fireplace when you say it, because I might just pass the fuck out. You just sit back and watch a pro at work.

[ She foists her decked-out mug of cocoa onto Erina and makes her way over to the snack table, but it isn't until the adrenaline of accepting the dare wears off and the goods are in front of her that she realizes the problem here. ]

Shit.

[ She only has two hands. How is she gonna balance a steaming mug of hot chocolate and a shitload of cookies in one trip? It's way too many to stick on one plate...

She doesn't have any other options. When she's reasonably certain no one is looking in her general direction, she... ]

[ ...grabs the whole tray and speed-walks away.

Not her sneakiest play. ]

[ And of course Erina takes a big ol gulp of the stuff as soon as it's in her hands, just on account of who she is as a human being. In fact, this might have been part of the plan this entire time. It's hard to tell with Erina, who is possibly the premiere example of what it means to have braincells but be stupid anyway.

She sits there sipping smugly as she watches Chitoge, with the obvious satisfaction of someone who's sowed some chaos and is just happy to watch it bloom. Once Chitoge grabs the whole fucking tray, however, Erina chokes and it's only knowing that her life would probably be on the line that prevents her from dropping it outright.

In muted shock and delight: ] Holy shit, Kirisaki!

[ As if she thinks it'll help her keep a low profile (as if she ever could), she keeps her voice low, just barely higher than a whisper: ]

Yes, yes, I'm amazing, I know!

[ Amazingly what? We just don't know. And even if we did, maybe some questions are better left unanswered. ]

Just nab 'em all before someone sees me with this thing! [ She hisses, as though that's an easy task. The tray is loaded; probably too much for both of them together, let alone Erina herself. ] And make sure y--wait a damn minute, is that a whipped cream moustache?! You're fucking shameless!

[ Mid-pulling cookies off the tray by the armful and into her lap: ] You handed me a hot chocolate and never told me not to drink it. I had no choice. It was like I was possessed. You'll never take me alive, officer.

[ So yeah, shameless. ]

We're gonna get so fucking sick on all these.

Just for that, you're not getting your own! I hope my cooties were worth it! Besides, I'm not going back to the scene of the crime with this...

[ That's basically asking to get scolded. The only reasonable move is to foist this off on someone, or... ]

Wait, I've got it--

[ She dumps the rest of them in Erina's lap, letting them fall like a landslide. The fake-ass tree is on the other end of the room, perfect for hiding things under.

Sure, normally it's for presents and not Santa-themed trays loaded with crumbs, but it's better than heading back over with the smoking gun. She shoves the platter right under there, wedged between two nondescript boxes, and dusts off her hands, mission seemingly accomplished. ]

And that's how you steal Christmas.

[ Despite having her mouth crammed with Christmas cookies, Erina bursts out laughing which of course results in her briefly choking on her cookies, like she deserves. When she's managed to not die, Erina lifts her mug, like she's toasting Chitoge with her own, stolen hot cocoa and just says– ]

Cheers, bro, I'll drink to that.

[ And so she does. Horrible. Awful. She has the decency to offer Chitoge a stolen cookie, though. ]

How in the hell you're not on the naughty list I'll never know. Or maybe you are? Shit, how do you even tell when you're on the naughty list?

[ Erina's lucky Chitoge doesn't move to bite her fingers off. Once she's certain the mission was a success (and that the goblin girl doesn't need anyone to give her the Heimlich maneuver), she snags the Christmas cookie between her teeth. ]

You're one to talk! [ She says with her mouth full, so it comes out as some sort of muffled nonsense. Erina's free to interpret it however she wishes. "I'd do it again"? "Anything for you"? The world is her oyster. ] You tell when you get fucking coal, duh! Which, I'll have you know, I've never gotten in my life! Though I might just get some for you, as a prank...

Oh come on, Kirisaki. Doesn't count as a prank if you just full on tell me you're gonna do it. Where's the showmanship? The panache? The power? I feel like I barely know you anymore.

[ She's gesturing very vehmently with the hot chocolate as she says all this but somehow manages not to spill the thing. It's very... Erina of her, somehow. ]

At least now you can't back out of getting me a Christmas gift even if it is coal.

Please. If I was actually gonna prank you, I'd do a lot better than coal. ...Besides, in all seriousness, "panache" aside, [ She says, complete with big air quotes and an over-the-top alto-- ] I can fuck with you any other day of the year. Christmas is special, y'know? It means something.

[ Though she is fairly impressed by that dexterity; not that she'll ever say that out loud. ]

So yes, for your information, you are getting something, Estival, and you're damn lucky it's not a knuckle sandwich.

[ It'd probably be a bit embarrassing to admit that she already picked it out and everything, though. She'll keep that to herself, too. ]

[ Erina blinks at her. ]

Wait, you actually got me something for Christmas?

[ SHE SOUNDS LEGITIMATELY SURPRISED??? ERINA??? ]

Eh? What do you mean by that?

[ And why on Earth is she so shocked? Is it really that unexpected? Or, is she not supposed to? It's not that weird, is it..?

She takes another cookie in her hand, but fiddles with it a bit in her fingers, not quite taking a bite of it yet. ]

Why would I not? It's just a little something...

Because I'm an obnoxious jackass, I guess?

[ She says it with a self deprecating little grin, so she obviously doesn't mean it that seriously, but the way she's rubbing the back of her neck and looking away from Chitoge as she answers is a little uncharacteristically awkward of her. ]

I mean. I got a little something for you too but it's nothing super exciting, I'm shitty at picking out gifts.

[ The gears in her head start spinning a bit, at that. Erina got Chitoge a gift...and didn't expect that she would get anything back from her? ]

Erina, you dumbass...

[ Is that the first time Chitoge's dropped her first name? It very well could be-- ]

It doesn't matter just what it is. The fact that you saw something and thought of me is more than enough, get me? Besides, I'm sure I'll like it.

[ If it's from you, it'll make me happy. That goes unsaid, out of fear of sounding too saccharine. Or, maybe out of fear that she'll play into her hand a little too hard.

...But this doesn't feel like a prank. After this long, she has a feeling, a tickle at the back of her neck, that goes off when Erina might be taking the piss out of her. Right now, she doesn't feel that at all, and it's got her looking pretty intently at the cookie she snagged.

Just how does Erina feel about me? Or, more accurately, how does Erina think that I feel about her? Has she been laying on the kayfabe a little too thick..? ]

[ Erina groooooooaaans in response. ]

Kirisakiiiii. [ It's not quite a whine, but it's close. ] Come on, don't get all tender on me. I know it's Christmas and everything, but–

[ But what? She doesn't really have an answer outside of "emotional vulnerability makes me uncomfortable, because I'm a dumb jock" and admitting that is uh, a little more emotionally vulnerable than she's prepared to be, even with Chitoge. So, to distract from the whole issue of Feelings (even though she knows, realistically, it's not going to work for shit), she pushes her mug back into Chitoge's hands so she can stand up and lope over to the tree, snagging the giftbag she's got Chitoge's presents in and crossing back over so she can hold it out. ]

Here, you might as well open it now. I was gonna hang onto the mystery for a little longer, but why the hell not.

W-wait--

[ All that concern, and what she gets in response is that sound? Thank goodness she didn't say a fair bit of what was actually on her mind, there. If she did, what the hell would Erina do, gag? For Christ's sake...

She all but drops her gingerbread man when Erina foists the cocoa back onto her, not quite expecting the shove; the poor bastard falls head-over-gingerbread-heels into the steaming hot drink, never to be seen again. He never even knew what hit him.

Chitoge's close to chasing her down, about a half-second from hoisting herself back up to go after her, but she holds down the fort once she sees that Erina's not going far. It doesn't stop her from muttering into her drink, though... ]

Blockhead. If you didn't want me to get tender, don't go saying stupid shit like that...

[ She runs her thumb along the rim of the mug, wiping away at any of the cooties Erina may have left on it. But she doesn't even get a chance to take a good and proper sip by the time Erina returns, gift in hand.

If she doesn't hold onto this thing tight, it's gonna spill-- ]

Estival, I...

[ Even though she's holding a hot drink, she can feel her hands starting to get a bit clammy. There's a lot that starts swirling through her head, at the sight of Erina sheepishly holding out a bag with her name on it.

Fuck. ]

H-hang on. If I'm gonna open mine, then, you gotta do yours too.

[ Where did she put her bag..? She leaves Gingey to his fate as she scrambles around her fireplace haunt, looking for a small handbag she's had nearby since she first sat down. It doesn't take long for her to grab it and scurry through the clutch, pushing her phone and wallet aside to pull out...

Well, it's not hefty in the least; it seems she wasn't kidding when she called it a little something. But that sure is a gift box, about the size of her palm, wrapped up neatly in white paper on top of a card. The whole thing is tied up in a bow as red as the ribbon on top of her head.

Her cheeks, incidentally, are approaching that shade, too. ]

It's only fair.

[ Erina's a proud jackass, but even she's not quite enough of a jackass to laugh at Chitoge right now, even if seeing her so flustered kind of makes her want to. This is a bit different from their usual prodding and poking at each other and it makes Erina feel sort of itchy and uncomfortable but weirdly fond all at the same time.

It shows in the grin she gives Chitoge as she takes the gift and then hands the bag over in turn. Come on, Erina, be a cool girl for maybe five more minutes. ]

Alright. Count to three and then rip 'em open?

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gorira - 2021-01-17 16:15 (UTC) - Expand

52nd ♫ | the first star in the sky is even brighter out tonight

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