sweetdevil | 58th ♫ | i heard it – that day's "snow show song"

[Hopping on the bandwagon. Probably kinda homesick so come hang out with her ♥]

Well. This is unexpected.

[The cell is- not great, but if the accommodations bother Vaska, she's not showing it.]

I can't imagine you've come to admit your mistakes and break me out, so is this meant to be a bit of holiday charity or is in-person gloating a gift to yourself?

If you don't want visitors, I can just leave.

[If someone detected Sheyleigh's thoughts right now, it would be just an endless loop of asking herself "What am I doing here?" She knew she was opening herself up to that pain and anger again. Seeing her in this cell hurt. Even just looking at her hurt. After all this time, she still felt her skin crawl with anger and disgust as she remembered everything Vaska said that night.

But...this used to be her friend. Her inspiration. Even now she still treasured that moment of connection when the more seasoned adventurer knew the hardships of the job, when she needed it the most. No matter what happened between them - all of them - hate just refused to worm its way into those memories. She didn't hate Vaska. She couldn't.

It probably was a selfish goal of her own to come. Possibly fueled by her own loneliness, too far south for the winter to be home with Uncle Jay this holiday. Ah hell, let's not kid ourselves, she didn't know what her goal was. She made a spontaneous decision, and was surprised when they even agreed to let her in. So here she was, trying not to show the storm of feelings brewing from the eye contact, and trying not to crush the small rolled canvas in her fist as she waited for Sir Lorre's response. If she didn't want her here, she would just go. If anything, it would make her mind up for her.]

Oh no, a former friend abandoning me and leaving me to rot in prison, what a new experience.

[Her tone is flat enough you could start a rousing game of Jenga on it.]

[Vaska sighs, folding her arms.]

Really, what do you want. One of us still has better things they could be doing, I'm sure.

Well I don't see anyone else stepping up to keep you company, so maybe a former friend will have to do.

[Sheyleigh crosses her arms in turn.]

Maybe I just wanted to check that you're still here.

Fine. I'm here. Like I have been for [a rowdy band of bards marches past, covering up the exact amount of time in question here].

[There's a short pause that's probably pretty awkward, possibly more so for one of them than the other.]

You know this type of sentimentality would only be a weapon if I wanted you dead, yes? The world's still in danger and if you're not going to let me deal with it then you need to survive and do it yourself.

["If I wanted you dead" implying you don't? Is there a shred of compassion in there after all?]

'Sentimentality' kept you alive after everything you did. You hurt us, Vaska. You hurt me, when I desperately needed someone to look up to. But...I never would have asked to see you dead. I don't think even Lamarii wanted that. That has to account for something, doesn't it?

Are you willing to take that gamble with all your adversaries? Willing to let your friends take it? The innocents you're trying to protect?

[She moves closer to the door separating them, looking Sheyleigh in the eye through the barred gap.]

I hurt you- I promise I didn't want to and I'm sorry you couldn't understand what I was trying to do- but what makes you so sure I'm not going to do it again, and worse? Is it mercy and sentimentality, or arrogance?

[hey pot boy do i have some news for you about kettle]

[Sheyleigh is stone faced as Vaska talks, the only potential tell being a hitch in her breath.]

That's another thing you've gotten wrong. I know you'd do it again if you escaped. That's why you're here and not in the hands of the Vewilsk guards.

What was our other choice? To kill you? After everything we went through? After everything Quest had to go through? Do you really think she would have wanted that either?

[She takes a step closer - still keeping enough space between them for safety - to bore into her eyes.]

Be honest, Sir Lorre. Be honest with yourself. Are you really sorry for what you did? Did you feel any regret - did you have even a second of hesitation - when you sicced Quest and Gerdwyn on us?

Or did you just use them as a shield because having a mook to do your dirty work was better than facing the consequences of your arrogance yourself?

YES.

[It comes hard, harsh.]

If you really think I'm such a threat, you should have killed me. Because sometimes you have to go through a little pain to prevent worse.

[honestly this was kind of her whole deal, at least as she saw it, i don't know what you were expecting here]

And don't you dare suggest I don't regret every day that I wasn't able to protect them from the truth, that having them taken from me wasn't one of the worst days of my life. It was about shielding THEM, not me, it was always about shielding them.

[That does get Sheyleigh to startle back a step again. She lets her rant, stewing in silence. By now her hands are starting to shake clenching them so tightly, the pointed effort to keep her breathing steady starting to show. Looks like Vaska hit a sore spot.]

You really think I don't know about pain? You think trying not to hurt anyone more than I have to makes it easy? Makes me weak?

[Her voice rasps a little as she goes on, choosing her words slowly, precisely.]

Adventuring is the hardest fucking thing I've ever had to do in my life. There is danger, and pain, and injustice, everywhere. I can't even go home to lick my wounds without tripping over disaster. I DIED. Trying to save lives.

So I am. So. Fucking. Sorry. If I can't. Fucking. Understand. Why you felt the need to fabricate disasters to save the day. Especially when you clearly knew it was wrong!

And you're still standing here. Not everyone's so lucky.

[It's a bitter tone, even compared to the entire conversation thus far.]

With all these disasters you've stumbled across, how much have you done to actually prevent danger? Stop it on a large scale? Or have you just been reacting to threats in progress.

[The parts she didn't say were her own struggles. Her constant questioning of whether she was doing the right thing. Only being able to see as far as her failures. The things that come in and rip her accomplishments away whenever she felt like she'd found her feet again. She'd only just internalized the reminder from the Traveler...one life was just as worth saving as the entire world. And now here was Vaska, her inspiration - her friend, once - telling her that it wasn't enough. That none of it mattered unless she had some miraculous foresight.

At those words, Sheyleigh goes rigid. Whatever facade she was carrying before cracks. Something dark hits her eyes as she clenches her jaw.]

Shut up.

[fine, she's waiting]

58th ♫ | i heard it – that day's "snow show song"

Sheyleigh | D&D OC

shady dwarf prison visit? shady dwarf prison visit

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