Honestly, looking at this thing? I get the feeling they were less than two steps away from paying people to take it away. It's a sin.

[ Which makes it objectively the best sweater here, obviously. ]

The cookies, though? Believe me, if I had my way, those things would be gonezo. But I was issued with a thread to, and I quote, "pull off your hands and stick them so far up your butt your nose will be waving hello". It was a pretty good threat, honestly.